The Disciple

The Musician:
I was enticed by you, Music -
I pledged my love to you.
For years I studied you,
But I could not enjoy you.

You came to meet with me,
and I tore you to shreds,
searching your make
Your waste in my wake.

The Poet:
Poetry, my wife, my life
Tragedy, we're rife with strife
Because I devoted myself to you

Meter and rhyme like flames consumed
This love turned formula for you
I sought to know you better.

The Lover:
Love was my discipline
You were my study.
I needed to know:
What made you lovely?

To learn to love better
I pursued and pursued
But in learning those things
I forgot to love you

Redemption

Guilt.
You bad taste in my mouth,
I'll wash you down with a frothy soda pop
Or perhaps a feel-good movie.

It's not my fault.

You creep into my heart like a hot lizard,
snaking your way down to gnaw at the roots of my sensitive pride.

You hot potato - I'll toss you out of me
I can't stand to own you.
My fingers are turning black,
like my motives. Oh, I am indeed a wretch.

Remedy, please, a remedy - anything.

I'll brand you with my initials
You cruel, cruel pet,
This will take the last of my pride.

I walk the halls of the ruin of my heart
And find it an empty tomb.
The things I thought splendid and virtuous about myself -
They're crawling with iniquity.

A prince. He comes to see me?
In this place?
In my place.

Oh, Lord, I'm saved. I'm safe.
My heart is redeemed at last.
All because You could stand to own me.

Meaningless! Meaningless!

If I read for too long,
My eyes grow too wide
Filled up with big words
With big ideas inside

A little blob of jam on too much toast
My thoughts scraped over too much bread
These are the moments I love the most
When the world's just too big for my head

What makes a maker make,
What made my Maker make me?

I can dance with the knowing of not knowing
I can laugh at the formulas for love
And bespectacled old men's equations for infinity
Who think the universe will never be quite universe enough

And all the factors run down my mind
Always sliding comfortably back home to zero.

affection

In the soil of my soul, a seed is sprouting.

In the deepest fathoms of my heart
Beneath the layers of thought and pretense
Just past my last measures of logic
An affection is birthed, soft and fragile.

Days begin to slip out of my fingers
Raining, pelting my soul with life.

I watch over that seed
Holding my breath with the sting of a hand grasping the monkey bars.
Dangling.
Waiting.

lake part 2

Imaginings are the boats I build
Nailing together wishes
So I can push the shore away
And sail into a lovely dream.

But the water is deceitful above all things
Full of eels and evils
Untethered, I'd sail into a monster's jaws

The currents are strong
I'd be so easily swept away
Without anchors on my ankles.

Nowadays I lie in the sand
Breathing in the sun
Wondering why I would ever want to sail away
my heart's desire always dwelt here

melted

I'm a snowflake that fell into lava.
I never stood a chance, So happy to melt away

Plunged in fire.
Faint with love.

I see a glimpse, and I whirl around to hear His voice.
The light of the kingdom shines through broken bits of creation. I linger in those places.

boys vs candy

Kisses might be sweet, but candy you can keep and eat

Kisses melt in your pockets.
You can't keep them in a fridge.
They don't come in a wrapper or a box to keep them safe.

And I've never met a boy as strong as the taste of a sour straw.
Or a man with a heart as soft as cotton candy.

Boys are more stubborn than Milk Duds clinging to your teeth.

Also, you can't get cooties from eating candy

post-rain

A thousand little frosted mirrors
Are thrumming with the last few drips
Slip-sliding out of the sky.

The world is dressed in shades of silver
Each breath feels soggy in my chest
and tastes like a cool drink of water.

caterpillars

Scrunching, squirming,
Creepy-crawlies.

Little strings of spineless, squishy bug.

Their words are like burrs in my heart.
I wince when they speak. I don't like dealing with them.

"You - you worms!"
I want to say to rude, foolish people.

but

They're not worms at all
they're Caterpillars.

the heart is a hearth

My chest has become an oven
Fingers fumbling for the "on/off" dial
Each intake of breath feels like fire. My eyes sting.
Can someone melt from inside out? Or will I explode?

Not even the rain can extinguish me -
It comes close, but only soaks my skin. My blood is magma.

Can't sleep - my heart glows so the whole room is lit.
I've tried pressing my belly button, pulling my toes like levers, tuning my ears, and thinking about Antartica.

There's a wireless energy transfer
It's how my heart gets all this silly energy
Happens when our eyes meet.
I've got to cut the cord. You just might notice the sparks shooting out of my eyes.

thus far

Fresh strawberry moments
Dangle from the tree of circumstance
Ripe and flushed with joy, I chew

My uncallused feet stepped gingerly
Onto a broken world

Enticed into a gentle garden
My Lover began to teach me to walk
So I could follow Him
Lovingly, I ran.


~

Sin has lost its tangy luster
And death's knife has grown dull

The flickering candles burn ever stronger
And my fingers are in training for war
The Enemy is frightened and outraged
Freedom is spreading, our victory sure.